So for the last year and a half ive been on a quest to lose weight, get healthy, and generally feel better about myself. I became a vegetarian, exercise heavily and just started doing yoga. During that same time i have been in an on and off again relationship with a truly horrible person. Mainly because she was attractive and accepted me for how i looked and my weight. Ive since lost over 120 pounds and have gotten out of that relationship.
But now as I put myself out there again I find myself being ridiculed by strangers and belittled for the choices i make and still for my appearance. Now most people would say that it shouldnt matter how you look or what other people say. But the truth is, it does. When your trying to overcome and eating disorder brought on by heavy depression, its hard to let things go and not let it bother you. I know that im doing this for myself, but i feel like im being made fun of and being passed over by the fairer sex more than i did when i was almost 400 pounds. I dont get and it makes things much more frustrating. Sometimes I wish i could just lock myself in a room and not come out until I look as perfect as society tells me i should look, so no one has any ammunition to use to belittle me. I feel like im too old to have such feelings, but here they are. All my hard work and i feel shittier about myself than ever before.